How to support someone if you're worried about them

Signs that someone may not be OK

Many people struggle to cope at one point or another in their lives. Reaching out to someone could help them know that someone cares and that they are valued, and help them access the support they need.

Everyone copes and reacts in their way, but here are some general signs to look out for. For some people, several of these signs might apply – for others just one or two, or none.

Signs to look out for
  • Feeling restless and agitated
  • Feeling angry and aggressive
  • Feeling tearful
  • Being tired or lacking in energy
  • Not wanting to talk to or be with people.
  • Not wanting to do things they usually enjoy
  • Using alcohol or drugs to cope with feelings
  • Finding it hard to cope with everyday things
  • Not replying to messages or being distant
  • Talking about feeling hopeless, helpless, or worthless
  • Talking about feeling trapped by life circumstances they can’t see a way out of, or feeling unable to escape their thoughts
  • A change in routine, such as sleeping or eating more or less than normal
  • Engaging in risk-taking behaviour, like gambling or violence

You might not always be able to spot these signs. These emotions may be more difficult to spot if you’re seeing less of the people, you’re close to.

It can also be useful to identify circumstances that can trigger suicidal thoughts or make it hard for someone to cope.

Situations to look out for
  • loss, including loss of a friend or a family member through bereavement
  • suicide or attempted suicide of a family member, friend, or public figure
  • relationship and family problems
  • housing problems
  • financial worries
  • job-related stress
 
What to do if you think someone is struggling

Many people worry that reaching out will be intrusive or make things worse. You’ll soon be able to tell if the person you’re speaking to isn’t comfortable or doesn’t want to have that kind of conversation. If they don’t want to open up, you’ll still have to let them know you’re there for them.

Once someone starts to share how they’re feeling, it’s important to listen. This could mean not offering advice, not trying to identify what they’re going through with your own experiences, and not trying to solve their problems.